Thursday, December 1, 2011

New Blog

In case anybody ends up here (???), I have started a new blog called "shazza's lapband journey" so feel free to check it out.


Sunday, August 1, 2010


Well, here I go again!!! TOWN really was NOT for me, and I really thought it might of been the missing link - NOT!! For one thing I think I was the youngest there (in fact I am pretty sure) with the average age being about 65 (and I am not kidding). Nobody was really obese at all, and it was mainly used as a social gathering so I really did feel out of it. The premise works and I do like that but I need some sort of incentive and I also need to get something out of the meetings otherwise I am wasting my night when I could be at home with my family. So, all in all, I went twice and that was it. SORRY TOWN.....

So, yet again I was on the lookout for my next venture. Surely there is something out there that I haven't tried yet. Well, low and behold I came across The Gabriel Method - a book that honestly I have seen over the last year but just thought (for some reason) that it was another protein diet and never did get it. So, I looked into it further and found that it was far from it. I downloaded the visualisation technique and started listening straight away. I also found podcasts on itunes (free also) and have been listening to him and I must say I am impressed.

His theory is that every time you diet it gets harder and harder to stay thin as your body is going into starvation mode. He himself got as high as 186kilos and he says he dieting his way to that weight. I can totally relate to that. He is now like 90kilos and looks amazing. I like the fact that he can relate to obese people as he has been there and he totally believes that dieting does not work - haleluya, somebody I can really relate to.

So, here goes my not dieting diet. And I know I have gone down that track and put on heaps but with his visualisation techniques as well as adding foods like omega 3, digestive enzymes and live foods (rather than take food away) I think this just may be the different no-diet I have been looking for.

No more counting calories, points, fat grams, carb grams - just eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full.

My weight today is 115.5kg (OMG) and my goal weight is 70kilos. If this doesn't work then lapband is my next option.


Monday, June 14, 2010


Well, tonight I joined T.O.W.N. For those that don't know that stands for Take Off Weight Naturally.

Starting weight 114.8kg. Boy, where did that come from??? Anyway, like they said tonight I will NEVER see that weight again cause I WILL lose this weight. My goal weight (at the moment) is 75kg so I do have a bit to go.

They don't really tell you what to eat, just go by healthy eating guidelines but have suggested using a calorie counter and trying 1500 per day to start with. That is quite a bit lower than I am used to so I shall see how I cope, I may have to go back up to 1800 as that is definately more livable but we will see. That is what they have suggested so that is what I am going to start doing.

I have to write down (usual stuff), everything I eat and work out the calories and I am to take that next week to be looked at (keeps me honest anyway). Also, I will be getting a sash next week which I think is used to put any buttons/medals etc on if I lose any weight.

I am really looking forward to this new beginning. It is not weight watchers again, nor is it something else I have done in the past either like Jenny Craig, Lite n
Easy or Nutrisystem - one of the many many I have tried. This will be new, I have never done town before and really have no idea what to expect - WHICH IS GOOD>..

So here goes everybody, I am ready and willing.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

Is it really June???

I feel so sad reading my previous posts. In fact it has brought tears to my eyes. What is the damn answer to losing weight, why can't I lose my weight, what is holding me back, what is the answer!!! I am really really at a loss on what to do next. I have tried EVERYTHING, I just don't seem to get anywhere with any of it. Yes hypnosis made me feel good about myself (temporarily anyway) BUT, I did not lose any weight. My weight is now 114.6 - yep. Damn heavier than when I started this blog 2 years ago. How depressing. In my previoius posts I was determined not to be fat and fifty. Well guess what - looks like I will definately be that as there is only 3 months left and I am heavier than when I started. Is that for real or what??? Talk about frustrating. What is the answer everybody??? If it was as easy as counting caloires/points/fat grams/whatever then I should have gotten to my goal weight 15 years ago. I have now officially tried everything.

I have gone through a few of my old books, as I want to try and concentrate on health now rather than weight loss (cause that aint gonna happen!!). I figure if I at least concentre on the healthy aspect of food choices then my insides should be happy even if my outside doesn't look it!! So, anyway, I found one of Dr Cabot's books on my bookshelf and reread it. It is the livercleansing diet. She says that if you have a fatty liver then the only way you are gonna lose weight is if you fix your liver up first. Once you have removed the fat from your liver then your metabolism will be what it once was. Now I do remember when I got this book I only did it for a week cause you couldn't have any milk, cheese or dairy. I found it (at the time) very hard to stick to cause I just hate the taste of soy milk arggghhh.

Anyway, as I am now a bit more desperate than I was when I tried it last time, I went shopping and got rice milk and lite soy milk. There is a lot more variety now which is good. I had some soy milk in my cereal and low and behold it is actually nice now. I think I might be able to do this diet. I might be able to fix my fatty liver (which I have been told I have by a number of naturapaths) and then I can start losing weight.

Dr Cabot says if it is really bad (which surely mine must be), then it could be 3-12 months before I start losing weight but it is what is happening on the inside that I need to concentrate on.

So there you go guys - livercleansing is on!!

BTW I have also joined Contours gym which is really close by and again only doing it for health. I know in the past I have stopped going to gyms if I haven't lost weight within 3 months or so and figure it aint working. I am no longer going to think that way - this is now for life. I am getting too old to be starting to piss fart around with my health. Even if I stay fat if I know my insides are healthy then I could still have a long and happy life.

Heres to the liver!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

New Year, New Me

Can't believe it is already the 7th January. Where does the time go??? What's really different about this New Year than any others is that I haven't given myself resolutions and expectations about what I will do for the new year, ie exercise more, eat less, eat healthy, walk more etc etc. I normally make myself a list every New Year and try my best to stick to it. You know what, that has happened for about the last 25 years and here I am, fatter than ever. Derrrrr, why has it taken me this long to figure out it aint working. As Dr Phil says, if it aint working for ya, then change what you are doing.

Well, I definitely have changed and it doesn't mean change my diet plan or exercise plan, like it normally would. I always figured it was me not the diet that was the problem - now I know different!! I also can't believe I have not weighed myself in about 3 months - wow, unbelievable. I feel great, I really really do. You gotta try this guys, it is life changing.

I am positive I haven't gained weight either cause my clothes fit just the same - not looser, not tighter. I'm happy with that for the time being. I know weightloss will happen but my body has to recover from the 25 years of dieting and binge eating, over and over again.

I have noticed over the last month that I can look at chocolate now, or cake, or pizza, fish n chips, you name it and not start salivating or thinking that I HAVE to have it. I know I can have it if I want it but I can ask myself the question - do I want it now? Am I hungry for that now? Is there something else I feel like? And I have turned my back on some of those foods and not thought twice about it - that is definitely a first for me.

I am slowly (not quite there) starting to love myself and this body that I have made. I appreciate my body for what it has done for me all these years and put up with the abuse I have given it and the crap that has gone down my mouth - it makes me sad! Diets have done this to me! For that I am sure.

I vow, from this day forward (well actually from 3 months ago) that I shall NEVER, EVER, EVER go on another weightloss diet again. If I stay the weight I am then so be it, I am not dieting again. Wheww, that really takes a load off my mind and by the way, I haven't binged either or felt the need to.

This is going to be a slow process, I know that. But I have to now think of the future, my future and how I want to live. I do not want to live counting calories or points or carbs or whatever, I just am OVER IT!!

So here is to 2010 and may it be everything I wish it to be and the same for anybody else who may be reading this. HAPPY NEW YEAR...


Thursday, December 24, 2009


Know it has been a longggg longgg time since I last posted and I have sort of gone through a metamorphisis over that period of time. I have come to realise that I need to stop dieting, FOREVER!! It only feeds my eating disorder (compulsive overeating and bulimia) and thanks to hypnoslim counselling I am now getting help.

Since my last blog entry I tried another stint (maybe even twice) at Weight Watchers. Why oh why did I keep going back to WW??? I don't know but I always felt that it was the healthiest way to go and it was always my fault that I didn't stick to it, nothing to do with the dieting merry go round that it continued to put me on. I did realise that when on a diet I started to binge eat again and become obsessed with food, weight, what I look like. I became a mad woman who hated myself more and more every day for not sticking to "the diet" or going over my points - whatever. I had a really low point at one stage cause I realised yet again that this was not working for me. Then I spent a fortune on Tony Ferguson shakes and was determined to stick to it as I was becoming a bit panicky at the thought of still being fat when I went on my cruise in February (this was about September). Of course, it made my ED (eating disorder) even worse yet again and was getting really depressed about the whole thing. WHY COULDN'T I LOSE THE WEIGHT!!!!

Anyway, I lost practically NOTHING.... and realised I needed to change something. Dieting wasn't working for me anymore. I am 49 now and need to look at the long term picture and start to love myself. A girl a work told me about a counsellor who also does clinical hypnotherapy to work out WHY we eat and uses hypnotherapy to help heal yourself. Well my first visit was about 2 months ago (31st October) and I have not looked back........

I have been every fortnight since and have been hypnotised in every session. I realised that alot of my eating stems from my childhood and my father (now deceased).. What I like is that once we figure on an issue, I get hypnotised and go back in time to fix it (change the outcome) and then its forgotten, we move on. I don't dwell on it anymore. I know I haven't lost any weight yet (scales were thrown out after the first visit) but I feel so much better about myself. I am no longer panicked about being overweight on the cruise, I bought myself some nice clothes that I feel sexy in and my attitude has done a 360. I can look in the mirror and feel proud of myself and love myself, sooooooo goood to be like that rather than hate myself and put myself down left, right and centre.

I feel such relief in knowing that I never have to diet again, EVER and don't have to think about points, grams, carbs, fats, calories.... just eat food for the taste and whether or not it is what I feel like eating at the time. I love it. Why didn't I do this years ago..... Well, the answer to that is probably because I needed to go through what I went through to get to a low point before I would consider anything like this.

Anyway, shall keep everybody posted on how it goes.....


Thursday, April 2, 2009


Well up to week 5 and my total weightloss to date is 4.1kgs. Can't complain with that. I have worked out how long I have before my 50th in September 2010 and on the 13th March it was exactly 18 months away. I have calculated that I need to lose 2.3kgs a month (ie on the 13th of every month I want to be 2.3kgs lighter than the month before to stay on track) to get to my goal of 70kgs on my 50th birthday. I reckon that is doable and hopefully I can be ahead of schedule so when I do plateau in later months I have something to fall back on!

I also know in my head that I don't have any other chances now. This is it. If I don't stay with WW this time I know it is just gonna be too hard to still get to 50 and not fat. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is gonna be it. I know it and I can feel it. I feel different somehow knowing that I can't give up in the hope of finding something better out there. I know weight watchers works, I know it and I have always known it. This is why I always go back to weight watchers. Why did I ever think I could try something else. Why, oh why>>>>>>

But another thing I aint gonna do this time and that is moan about my past. I remember making an oath to myself that the past is gone and forgotten. This is now. This is the present and I no longer think of the past and all my past weight watchers attempts, not to mention all the other damn diets and shakes that I have tried in the last 20 years. It is comforting to know that I will be sticking with weight watchers for the long haul. I have a totally different mindset - which is good and I can feel the difference.

So that is my weightloss to date and I am proud of myself for that. My husband is proud as well and I think he can see a difference in my attitude this time. He has told me all along to stay with one thing and that it might take a couple of years and not to expect it all in a month. Of course, I never listened to him what does he know he's been skinny his whole life and eats what he likes. But you know, he was right and I wished I had listened before. Well, I am listening now honey and here I come....

We will have been married for 27 years this month and I have booked a weekend away at the gorgeous cabin in the Dandenongs. Can't wait. Kids are old enough to stay on their own now (21 and 18) and I aint even gonna think about the parties that might be happening. Wow 27 years with the same man and I love him more than ever. I also feel he loves me just as much. We were meant for each other. I always felt that which is why we married so young. When you know you are meant to be together for ever then why hang off. That's what I reckon anyway and if I had my time again I will marry young (to only you though Wayne).

Anyway, the reason I have actually got the time to write in my blog is because I have had the last 2 days off work due to one side of my face aching. And I mean aching. Have made an appointment at the doctors tomorrow if it is still sore cause now I am getting a bit worried it might be something serious. I never get migraines and I never have sinus problems. I have been to the dentist with no problems so really don't know what it could be. My whole right side of my head and face just kills. Even my right eyeball. Aspro clear helps a little bit but it is still there and I can feel it.

Well will see tomorrow if it is any better.